OK, so our first climb up Kennedys Bush was on Sunday. It was pretty wet early on, so an afternoon romp up the hill was declared a good thing as it was drying out fast. I had collected the rebuilt bike earlier, so loaded it onto the car and collected Logan then headed to the hills.
We parked at the gate and had a quick test-ride through the quarry to check out the new gears and make sure everything was good for our first hill climb. It was, so we started up the road. I hate hills. I despise them. I loath them. I detest them. I especially hate hills with downhills in the middle (Kennedys Bush Road, Kennedys Bush Track, Rapaki Track, and so on) as there is no logical reason for making hills like that.
So, we make the gate by the crocodile, jump over and carry on up. I hate hills (did I mention that?) and they go on and on and on! I'm gasping, Logan wants a higher gear so he can stand and push, I'm avoiding ruts, rocks, sheep, poo and other track nasties and almost dying from lack of oxygen. There are a few close calls on the way up, usually with us slipping into a rut and not being able to get out easily, but make it to the 'top'. It's not the Summit Road top as the last 500m or so is a shear cliff face of shale and death cookies, so we turn here and begin the descent. Our first downhill, and it's in the ruttiest track in the country! More close calls, and we're both standing on flat peddles, arses in the air (or over the wheel) and flying down the bumpy track. Some of the bumps are vigorous enough to cause blurred vision - we have no suspension remember! I'm not just worried that we're going to fall off or not be able to stop, but that Logan's eyes are going to pop out of his head and get lost in the grass somewhere.
We make it to the bottom of the track, and down the road again (new top speed - 61.9kph) in one piece, but I still hate hills, or at least the up part. Logan wants to have a small cry about the fact that it's 35mins up, and 10mins down, and why can't it be the other way round!
We decide to do a double-trip up & down on Monday, and a plan is in place. It's a holiday, and the forecast is good, so an afternoon of hill climbing is determined to be better than a day of sitting in the sun drinking Black Russians and relaxing. So, we packed up the guide dogs (and a wife & child) and head to the hills again.
The first sign that things may not go to plan greets me at the other side of the road when I'm collecting Logan.
Yep, across the road is a car with 'Tandem Smash Repairs' on the door. Spooky! We head hill-wards again, drop wife, child and dogs at the start of the track, then foolishly drive down again and begin the ride up to the track. I hate hills. I loath them. Did I mention that? Halfway up we have an issue. The chain is jumping and slapping when we freewheel, and it could be the new knobbly tyres grabbing the chain when we're in the small chainring. So, till we know for sure, we move to the middle chainring and continue climbing. Yes, middle chainring and hills.
Now we're really burning the legs on the hill. No longer do we have the granny gear, it's all push push push! We make the top of the road and try to determine the issue with the gearing. It's annoying and if we can't freewheel, the descent is going to be impossible. The chain and tyre is not the problem, it turns out the new cassette is not freewheeling, we have the worlds stupidest fixed-wheel tandem. The climb is called off because if we can't freewheel down, it means we have to peddle the whole time, and avoid the rocks and ruts, and it's all just bad news because that is going to be bloody hard!
Sadly, the wife, child, Logan's guide dog and the guide dog puppy are somewhere up the hill. Did the wife take her phone? No. Did the child? No. Will Logan jog up and fetch them? No. So, poor me (insert violins here) has to ascend the hill on foot in my stupid bike shoes and find them. And find them I did, at the top of course. I HATE HILLS!!! Down we go again, grab Logan, who has been snoozing beside the bike and fending off multiple queries of 'are you OK, did you have an accident' and resisting attacking them. He is lounging beside a tandem. Alone. Even if he wasn't blind it's still a stupid question. Where did the other person go? Flying down the hill? Eaten by rabid sheep?
We ride down the road, peddling the whole way (harder than you think it might be actually) and load the bike back on the car. Nowhere near the amount of hill training we wanted, but then I do hate hills... We'll get the bike fixed up again, then have another go. Molesworth is looming fast, and we need not only a reliable bike to ride, but also some experience on the hills when we do!
I hate hills.
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