How to cripple a blind man

Winter is over, Spring has well and truly sprung, and Logan has run out of advice from his 'Little Boys Book of Excuses' and has agreed to come peddling again. He has been keeping active, but we were both fairly sure it wasn't active enough to pick up training from where we left off...

So, yesterday we picked up training from where we left off. I sent a txt to Logan with a choice - sprint or slog? For some unfathomable reason, he picked sprint. I haven't done sprint training for ages, nothing more sprinty than chasing (and passing) the roadies on my mountainbike during my commute to work and back. It's only a 6.5km trip each way tho, so not a real challenge, and of course, no hills.

Arrived at Logan's house and saddled up. We headed out to our sprint training track, chatting and cruising at a good average 30kph. Then the first sprint. I wasn't expecting big things, it has been a while, but it wasn't too shabby. Once legs were exploding and lungs screaming we scaled back, spinning for a while before doing it again. Second time around was the same speed, longer distance, and more pain. Good pain tho. Lap three started with a seat adjustment, then a double-sprint, which was the most painful thing I have done for quite some time, and a long slow spin before hammering it one more time. 

With raspy throats and shaky legs we trundled home, recovering fairly quickly and enjoying being out and in the sunshine on a warm Spring evening.

A plan was made to head out the next night and do a slog - ride the riverbank to McLeans Island and see if the tandem can tackle the moguls and s-bends in the new 5km section of the track without getting beached as. However, earlier today I received a call from Logan bemoaning the aches and pains caused by the sprints and bailing on back to back rides at this stage. Maybe we shouldn't have gone so hard? Naaa, I'm sure he would have complained at the time if it was too hard, but he was breathing way to heavily to be able to communicate let alone complain. 

Ahh well, twas a good night and we have little to no excuses for future adventures.

Long time no see

What a horrible pun to use as the subject for this post. But, it really has been some time since we both jumped onto the tandem and went for a ride. A very long time.

We've had good excuses, like changing of jobs and being out of town for extended periods, but I (adjusts halo) have been riding up hills and commuting almost every day, Logan has been eating pies and making an arse-print on the sofa.

So, after a bit of cajoling, I managed to encourage Logan to detach himself from the couch and come out riding. Well, actually, not a lot of encouragement was required. He'd almost made it to the stage where he'd become fully inert but recognised his state before fossilisation had set in, and a ride was planned.

My preparation was a tramp over Bridal Path the day before, meaning my legs were good and sore. Logans preparation... well, he got dressed. Tracey (the wife) and I arrived on his doorstep, ready to go. A quick check of the bike, adjustment of the timing chain and we're off. It was decided to have a short, easy reintroduction to the tandem for Logan. Not too far, not too fast, not too hard.

The plan of attack was to do the short-cut ride to McLeans Island, and if time/bodies allowed, do a quick lap too. I was really impressed how quickly I got back into the groove on the bike, and even when just spinning the pedals, we were leaving poor Tracey behind. Once we got to the long straight gravel road to the river, we applied some speed and left her in our dust. Tandems can go fast!

We were still taking it easy as we turned left and followed the river all the way to McLeans Island track. A bit of gossip, a bit of grumbling, a bit of tinkering with the wheel and gears and before we knew it, we were at the McLeans Island track. I had been txting Tracey directions, but neither of us knew where she was, so we all turned tail and headed back.

Now, however, I thought it would be good to apply some power. I remember us hooning down this road at a great rate of knots, legs a blur, speedo spinning, lungs burning, and able to keep at it for a good long while. So, I cranked up the pace to 30kph and we tried to hold it. Slowly, we dropped to 29, then to 28, then Tracey called, slightly lost, and was directed back on track. She was less then a kilometer in front of us, so we'd expend the last of out energies catching her and would slowly spin to home. Back up to high speed, onto the short-cut road, and eventually we caught her and slowed down.

As we were going slowly, I decided we'd ride through the deep gravel a few times. When it's about6 inches to a foot deep, it eats all of your speed and takes a massive effort to keep riding. So I only did a few hundred meters like that. A couple of times. Logan appreciated it I'm sure.

We spun home and checked the clock. 33km for a reintroduction ride was not too bad. Done in about 90mins, top speed of 34kph. A couple more like that then we'll be hitting Rapaki and Kennedys Bush again. But which event to train for? Molesworth Muster in early November? Rainbow Rage in March next year? Tekapo in a years time? A few more rides and we'll know for sure. (If you see us gasping up a hill sometime soon, you'll know we picked Molesworth Muster!)

Rage, Rage...so much Rage

So that's the Rage done and dusted!

Chris and I were better prepared mentally, hugely more prepared physically and APPARENTLY were riding a much better prepared bike....well as the saying goes -two outta three ain't bad!

so what went wrong? did we fail physically?...hell no; we were machines! did we fail mentally?....hell no!...we are still mental! Yuppers; the bike failed!(#$*^&! thing!)

After taking the bike in for a pre-race tune, lube and chain replacement we had a little leg turner before the race during which time we could hear a slight click in the gearings...but figured it was the new chain bedding in....wrong!

At 9am, with "Somewhere over the rainbow" blasting out of huge speakers we set off on the Rainbow Rage from a side road which runs parallel to Rainbow Road before joining up with it at about the 3k mark.. Some 140m from the start we encounter our first ford of the day...a little stream into which we treddled -leaving behind a huge bottleneck of riders and clearing the road ahead of us...but something in that water and something in the "new?" chain didn't agree with each other and the gears went downhill from there...buggar! some tinkering with the cable at the shifter end by Chris had it settle down a little but at the 30k mark we decided to take a look as the sounds that the chain was making as it rolled through it's revolution were becoming very sic sounding.

Chris quickly identified the issue -a very stiff chain link...how stiff?....well Chris couldn't move it without putting huge amounts of force into it! Equally as quick Chris came up with a solution...release the link pin with the chain breaker...then put it back in; this seemed to work and the chain began to run more freely without making chewing noises...we were off again!

Now was our time...a nicely moving chain, nice warm weather and a reasonable road...we were flying along, quickly picking up those cyclist who had passed while we made our repairs...this was our day now........Not!

some 20k on -not long before our big climb up Island Saddle, the chain was again making disgusting noises and we chose to stop and take another gander...lucky we did! The pin that Chris had tweaked was working itself out(This is a new chain apparently!)....what to do now. After our chain repair exercise following our last Rapaki training ride we knew what a shit of a job splitting the chain was going to be -but Chris had ensured that we were carrying a quick link(These things are great...two bits of a chain link that clip together and remove the need to faff about with the link pins) Decision made...Chris whipped out the stiff link and inserted the gold quick link...about 30mins all up I figure..but with the application of some borrowed lube the chain sounded wonderful!

This did however put us at the bottom of the Island Saddle climb with a well working bike...well; well enough if you remove both Chris and my apprehension about the amount of pressure we could put into the pedalling given that we were riding on what can only be described as the mountain bike equivalent of the space saver spare tyre!

But onwards and upwards...

After a brief stop to refill our water we began the climb in earnest. Now we had been told that there was no shame in walking up Island Saddle ..and I'm not sure that there was anyone actually riding up it when we opted to join the walkers -having ground our way up the first km or so...so walk we did and personally I'm glad we made that decision. The climb is long, gradual and unforgiving -think of Rapaki but about two times as long -if not more. At the top we took a quick rest to allow calf muscles a chance to relax, food to be consumed and minds to be prepared for what was reported as being a downhill course to the finish(some 42 odd k's.)

ON the bike and racing now! Whistling down Island Saddle we were quickly reminded of the speed that the tandem can achieve..quickly! We were flying, blasting past riders who were pedalling as we cornered under brakes..yes we passed people while braking -that's how quick the tandem goes, and that is without us turning the pedals for anything other than to clear the inside corner!

50kmph off the bottom of the Saddle downhill and grinding along at that speed for about 2k before hitting what can only be described as rapid 2 inch judder bars...braking corrugations that began to shake my legs, then my core...before wobbling my helmet due to their regularity and our speed ...but we were in our element now.

The forecast Southerly began to pick up and we found ourselves riding into quite a stiff breeze from about 35 k out from the finish...then the temperature dropped and the rain came, went and then came again.... 20k out...our last quick butt break and a chance to get some more food in without choking and we were into the homeward stretch...

Time began to pass quickly from here on in...but the k's dribbled by...we were doing the same work, covering the same ground with each pedal stroke but we were knackered..and it made each Km feel like 10...and then it was time to climb Jacks pass!

Up, up we went...Chris reporting that the low cloud was getting closer and closer ...and then up and up we went into the low cloud.... I said we were physically better prepared -and we were. I'm so rapt with the way we climbed Jack's Pass...no groaning, no screaming...just grind grind grind and without too much worry we rolled over the top.

then it was down, down down...brakes progressively screaming more and more as Chris fought with the bike to keep us at a controllable speed...but after what seemed like 30k(it was only 1.5 or so probably) we were off Jacks Pass and into the finish line.

Our time? Just on 7 hours by the recorded transponder...but just under 6(5:58) by the bike computer!

So after being riding for nye on six hours and spending an hour stationary doing repairs we had completed the Rainbow Rage...and in much better condition than we were at the end of the Molesworth Muster -which is some 20km shorter!

What next? A rest! Oh and a visit with Vaughn at the bike shop to ask if the chain was indeed new and to suggest he take some time to consider where he might like me to place the chain!!!

All in all ...a great event and I'm hugely happy with the way in which Chris and I dealt with the physical aspect of it....Keep an eye out for us..we'll be on the tracks again soon!

A little music, maestro

It seems every time we make a change to the bike, we add some weight. When I commute, I like to listen to my iPod (although it's switched off when I'm in traffic) and I thought a small upgrade to the tandem might be in order to allow us to enjoy some music while we ride. Then I found the perfect tandem music solution! Yes, it adds some weight, but we're used to that.

What could be better? Imagine doing some hairy singletrack downhill sections while Logan taps out "a bicycle built for two" or maybe we could ride and busk at the same time, hopefully raising enough money to buy Logans kidney back.

Normal service will resume shortly...

Knocked the bastard off

Some comments have been made about how quiet it's been on the blog since Logan's 'last will & testament' posting. Did we expire on our way up the hill? Did we expire on the way down? Broken limbs? Hospitalisation? Chopper rescue? Or, maybe, did we not even do it? Well, sadly the latter is the truth. The fateful Sunday rolled around and one of us (Logan) was too unwell to participate in the activity planned. Maybe it was too much wine the night before, maybe it was too much time spent out partying, but whatever the reason, only one of us went riding that day.

Yep, I did it alone. I met a friend at the top of the Rapaki Track and we did some sweet singletrack riding in the sunshine and wonderful weather the day provided. While descending the Captain Thomas Track I managed an endo and was landed on by my companion (who did the same thing in the same spot) and a short time later was waist-deep in blackberry bush after another mistimed corner. So, I figured with scarred leg and broken spoke and flat tyre I was sufficiently punished and ready for another training week and belated hill climb.

Tuesday: We attached the new cycle computer with cadence counter to the bike (much cursing and swearing) and went for a test-spin that evening. All systems go! Not many k's but a good little leg turner.

Thursday: A trip to McLeans Island, along the riverbank, 2 x laps, then back again. Some good k's (about 55km) and some good speeds - we were advised by a chap hooning on the riverbank we were doing 35kph. He was impressed, we had a speedo and so it was old news. Still, not bad pace for the both of us to be able to maintain.

Saturday: The day. Hill day. Time to repeat the trek we last tried in November of last year - tandem up Rapaki Track, then do a bit of road/hills, then home again.

10am, we set off. Weather was quiet, slightly cool, but perfect for riding. We rode the train tracks and park and some road (only one wrong turn) and before long were at the foot of the hill. We spun up the tarseal section, stopping only briefly to help the chain to the smallest ring, and attacked the track. Through the first gate, up the track, through the second gate and still going well. We pushed up the new smooth surface for a while, but had a small pause about halfway up the first hill. The short pause was enough to rest the legs (hey, we'd done over 15km just to get to this point!) and we started on again. This push got us to the top of the first hill, through the third gate and down the small descent ready to tackle the next half of the climb. We hit it and were spinning well, in the groove, and thankful we didn't bring jackets as it was getting warm now. We almost made it to the top before we had to stop for another small breather, then pushed for the summit. More spinning, more panting, more sweating and we reached the top! Goal achieved! Yea baby yea!

So, on we went, up to Castle Rock, down the other side, up under the gondola to the top of the hill. We were at 26km and decided that aches and pains were not going to get any better by riding up more hills, and so far it had been mostly uphill! We turned tail and headed back, knowing it was going to be mostly downhill in this direction so we were happy and ready for the journey. And plain sailing it was, we only had one climb, back up Castle Rock, and then were heading down Rapaki Track at a moderate/high speed. Trouble was first dealt at the halfway point of the descent where the level bit required a gear change and we gunged the chain. With a couple of twists, we got it back on but while preparing for the second part of the hill, it was jumping and skipping and making awful noises. We did the descent all the way to the bottom and jumped off to check the chain. Turns out there was a very bent link in it. So, out came the chain breaker, and we hacked a couple of links out of the chain on the side of the road (yay for it not raining) then put it back together again. This is a task that requires 5 hands to achieve, but eventually completed. I'm buying a magic chain link so future incidents don't leave us on the side of the road for almost an hour fighting with stupid chains!

We trundled home, arriving at about 2pm, and about 2 hours of that actually moving, the rest panting or repairing. We'll do a few gentle rides in the coming week, then it's time to rage! Yup, less than a week till the Rainbow Rage, 106km of alpine trekking madness in the saddle. We're quite a bit better prepared both physically and equipmentally than we were for the Molesworth. Wish us luck and we'll see you at the finsih line!

Hills and my will (& testament)

I, Logan, being of totally insane mind and body declare this as my last will and testament.... and it just may be!!

Chris has had some nuclear powered virus this week and I've been spending far too much time on that dammed static trainer! so, when the dreaded lurgy had supped itself on enough of Chris's bodily fluids and tissue, and he pronounced himself well enough for a ride I was rapt.

We stuck to the basic idea formed late last week (when will we learn) and planned a hill climbing session for the weekend.

Our basic idea was to drive to vic Park, ride along the top of the Port Hills, dropping down Evans Pass to Lyttleton, turn about and then ride back up Evans, along the top back to the car.... then doing it again!
But, could I keep my mouth shut? Hell no!
So determined on getting away from that static spawn of hell was I that I opened my mouth before I engaged my brain!
"Can we ride there?" I asked to which Chris replied "We could..but I hate that much traffic!"
...did I engage brain and bail out then?...hell no!
"so what about we ride to Rapaki, go up there..then along the top of the Port Hills, drop down to Lyttleton ..then back up to the top, back to Rapaki and blast on down there before turning the pedals over back home for a stretch out?"
.....to which Chris replied "Yeah, that sounds ok!"
Some mumbled calculations and we (Chris) worked out that it'd be a 60k+ride

I know I had some common sense before I started this mountain biking thing... sure not much, but some! I now believe that the sudden blow to my testicular region has knocked something loose - not my brain, but the last shred of logical reasoning that I had.... I'm now officially as mad as a sack of badgers!

see you up on the Hills!

Logan.

The Pros and Cons of Static Bikes

As you all know both Chris and I have been using static bikes to supplement our on bike training - some fricken genius told us they'd be good for us!!

So, these basic trainers (or more precisely put... these medieval torture machines) sit unassumingly in our garages... looking, to the unwitting victim, like mere bits of steel and plastic. It isn't until something (lets say... a training program) reveals the lethal potential of these cunningly disguised predators that one fully realises the degree of your own insanity for even considering using one!

Screaming, aching, groaning and panting - these things all describe my reaction to Chris's glorious sprint training program... but how would I describe the pain, the muscular ache, the rectal throb not to mention the buckets of sweat which I experience whilst IMPROVING myself on the static trainer.... umm..... Sheer Hell(that's the full fat, give me more sugar kind of Hell, none of this low fat, Ponsonby kind of hell!)

Sure, the benefits of this time spent training will result in less physical pain during the upcoming Rainbow Rage... but I've decided that there is no way the design for these things came out of a sane persons mind!!

These things are more dangerous than being an Indian shopkeeper in South Auckland, more painful than haemorrhoids the size of cannon balls, Less appealing than vomit flavoured ice-cream and more frightening than an internal prostate check done by a proctologist with no fingers!

Here's just two of the programs Chris and I are using to build our fitness and strength -now anyone can totally disregard my warnings and give a static trainer a go:

#1 .Time taken - 49 minutes
15 minutes - warm up (increasing intensity)
5 x (40 sec. very high intensity - 20 sec. low intensity)
3 minutes recovery
5 x (40 sec. very high intensity - 20 sec. low intensity)
3 minutes recovery
5 x (40 sec. very high intensity - 20 sec. low intensity)
3 minutes recovery
5 x (40 sec. very high intensity - 20 sec. low intensity)
5 minutes cool down

This program is designed to increase your maximum oxygen consumption (That is... it is designed to make you gasp for air!)

#2. Time taken -60 minutes
10min warm-up
3min (semi-high intensity)
2min low intensity
8 x (3min high intensity + 2min low intensity)
5min cool down

This program really shatters me -it gives you a big chunk of time at high oxygen consumption... let me assure you the breaks will seem far too short!!

So, there ya go... static bikes - training partners or satans work?

Time flys when... Yea right!

It's less than 3 weeks till the rage. Yep, on the 21^st of this month we will set forth from soft beds and comfort food somewhere near the top of the South Island and head to Hanmer in the middle of the island via 106km of rough as guts track with rocks and rivers and dreaded hills!

So, training continues... I'm still commuting daily by bike with the occasional static bike ride, Logan is doing static rides and together we're doing stupid long, hard or fast rides around the area.

Sprint training is a horror. Static training is almost as awful. Both make my legs scream as we do them, and my muscles ache the next day. Which is worse? Well sprint training is slightly better, but only because hearing Logan crying behind me motivates me a little more. When doing training on the static bike, the only crying I hear is mine. When we're doing spring training, knowing that Logan is suffering at least as much as I am gives me added strength.

So, last week we did the sprint training; just over an hour with 30km+ distance and 7 sprints thrown in. Awful, just awful. Today however was a nice, peaceful ride to and around Bottle lake. It was warm, and wet, but mostly clean, and there have been repairs to the track, so areas which normally ate the tandem were easily ridden. A nice day out.

It speaks volumes that way back when we started riding together, a ride through the singletrack of Bottle lake would have scared the crap out of me, and left me drained and exhausted. Now however, it's a gentle weekend jaunt, a ride we do just to turn the legs over. The 8km-each-way leg is just a warm up and cool down not 'the ride'. The 15km ride through the forest and singletrack is done in one hit, not in several stages with tea parties to break it up. We're chatting not gasping. We're having fun, relaxed and riding fast, not spinning in a low gear with every muscle tensed. It's good. It's fun.

So, why the hell do we sprint? Why the static bikes? Why do we not just amble through the countryside, splashing through the occasional puddle and having a jolly old time? Because that's not why we started doing this in the first place. Any man and a monkey can ride a tandem, but it takes a certain amount of lunacy to do it fast, to do it on a mountain bike and to do it up and down hills. The pain we suffer now means the tracks and trails later seem easy and can be enjoyed. Each hard ride we do sets the bar just a little bit higher. Each sprint we do sets it up another notch. And each hill we take on sets it even higher again. Today's ride was a testament to that.

So, Rainbow Rage, I am ready for you mentally, and over the next few weeks will be making sure I'm ready for you physically too! We'll be doing hills, up and down, gravel, mud, rain, hot, cold, grass, sand, stone and more, so when that day does roll around in the very near future, we'll be ready, and we'll knock the bastard off, and head away happy and victorious!

Please note: if we fail to complete the rage, or have a miserable time, I reserve the right to delete this post.

How fast might too fast be?

Because we missed a weekend ride, we replaced a torture session on the static bikes with a real world ride. The weather was looking like it was going to turn nasty, so we drove out to McLeans Island for a few laps.

We haven't been here since the bike was upgraded (I think) and our best lap time at that stage was about 31 minutes. So, with fresh legs, we headed off at a gentle pace, taking it nice and easy, with the intention of tackling the corners with the suspension for the first time. About 35 minutes later we popped out and decided it was too easy. We'd been gossiping like old ladies as we rode, so was more of a gentle stroll than a training ride.

Straight into the next lap, no hanging about, and this time we put a bit more gas into it. I hugged the trees a bit closer, skirted the puddles tighter, and hit the corners with a bit more speed. Time for lap 2 was 30 minutes, a new best for us, but I wasn't happy yet. We'd still be chatting merrily as we rode, no stress, no pressure, no worries. Lap 3 was to be faster again!

In we go, this time I'm taking advantage of the terrain more, cutting into the corners harder, faster on the downhill sections, later braking on the windy bits, and no cruising this time. End result? 29 minutes including gossip! Hell yea!

It was starting to get dark, so we wandered back to the car. I was happy, this is the kind of riding where we're competitive and having fun too. Perfect. Some more of these sessions and we'll be ready to kick some arse in 'the rage' in a few weeks time.

Of course, it was too easy, so tonight, in the drizzle and southerly winds, we're doing another sprint training session. As happy as I was after last nights session, the glow will have faded before I finish tonight. Well and truly faded.

Work harder not smarter!!!

Over the last couple of weeks I've been doing some work on the static bike. My old Giant was clamped to the torture device and spent several weeks after the Christmas break calling me, begging me to come back and have a spin. I resisted. It wasn't easy, but I resisted it's call knowing that I would somehow magically become fit and athletic by cycling to work and back each day, and going riding with Logan a couple of time a week.

Then Logan had a break from riding (and any activity requiring the participation of his middle-area) and I decided to pull the wind trainer sessions out of the cupboard and give them a go. Cor. Crikey. Blimey. They is hard. I sent a copy to a young lad at the office, and he declared them a tough ride. I sent a copy to Logan, and he rang me after one and sent a collection of abusive comments my way. Yes, they are that good. Burn? No man, these make your legs feel like they are fueled by napalm!

With my trainer sessions in mind, I mapped out a short road ride for me and Logan yesterday. It wasn't far, and wouldn't be long either, but I was fairly sure Logan wouldn't like me very much afterwards. I was pretty sure of it in fact.

I collected him after work and we went for warm up ride for about 5km, then a quick turn and time for a sprint. Top gear, Logan up and stoking, me pushing hard, top speed rapidly approaching, both sit and hold that top speed! We couldn't hold top speed as long as I dreamed we could have, but my legs, and Logan's, were screaming and the lungs were requesting a break. Drop gears, spin for a bit, get our breath back, then have another go. We sprinted again, this time a little longer but in one gear lower. Another short rest, then a pace-attack, keep the cadence the same and keep stepping up through the gears. Then another short spin, then another sprint. After that, it was just one more spin, pace and sprint and the legs were screaming! The lungs were rasping! This is a lot harder than on the trainer!

After about an hour we headed home. Legs were tired, and now sessions on the trainer looked fun and easy in comparison. We'll do this more often, as often as sanity (or lack thereof) will allow. More rides, harder rides, longer rides, the Rainbow Rage is only a matter of weeks away now. A few weeks of hartd training will make the 106km fly by!

Gently does it!

This is my first posting for some time....well that is if you don't include the POSTING I nearly got on the bike!
A few people have asked how the bits, the undercarriage, the boys or... my nuts are after smashing them into the seatpost when we experienced yet another gear failure?
Honestly; I think the majority of the remaining bruises are mental rather than physical! Oh sure.. for a brief period of time I was a bit inflamed, a bit bruised and a member of the silly walks club but after 5 or so days that'd all but returned to normal.
The hardest thing(if you excuse the pun) was climbing back onto the trainer -which I thought might be a gentler start than the tandem, for a test ride....
10 mins on the trainer at a reasonable cadence and I found out that despite my ability to walk normally, talk normally and generally perform all physical tasks with no (or very little) discomfort there was still a groan in the chassis when undertaking the action of cycling.
So...we waited...and I decided last Sunday was a good day to shake the foundations and give the tandem a go!
So, with new brakelines fitted, gears changing like a dream and my plums newly restored we set off!
Two hours later -after plenty of bumping, grinding and generally testing the bike, the brakes and the balls we returned home with all things tested given a pass mark.

time now to get into the training.

Back in the saddle

Yesterday, we went for the first ride since the 'accident' at Bottle Lake. Logan had done some training on the indoor bike and declared is loins to be girded. I was doubtful, but figured it was about time we did some road miles, so we loaded up and rode the road, heading for the rough, bumpy, uneven, lumpy, erratic, jarring and speed-sucking surface that is the river bank road.

What makes this an interesting ride is the surface - it moves between gravel to river stone to deep wheel sucking rocks to sandy to hard packed and occasionally you make a wrong turn and end up in the river, or at a dead end, or heading down a 4x4 track with enormous muddy puddles and no idea if there's a vehicle coming the other way. Oh, and horse poo everywhere, damn horses.

What does irk me tho, is that there is no way to get under the motorway bridge on foot (or on bike) which is a shame, as if you could, you would be able to get from McLeans Island to Bottle Lake in a circuit, making a nice, almost completely off-road ride for over 50km. But, for reasons unknown, be it design or topography, you have to turn tail at the bridge and head all the way back.

While this road/track is not a awe inspiring ride, it has a couple of advantages.
1. there are no hills bigger than a stopbank.
2. This is just the kind of surface we will be experiencing in a few weeks time for the Rainbow Rage.

eek - the Rage is only a few weeks away - 21st March. We have accommodation all sorted now, nice and close to the start line (a real lucky find) so we should be fresh and well rested for the short 106km jaunt to Hanmer Springs. We have no predictions on our time yet, more training for hills and distance before we start that discussion in earnest. Our training is now 2-3 rides a week together, and 2-3 indoor training sessions each week too. Hills are still an issue, but we know what we have to do, so it's just doing it now. Hills. Yay. Expect to see me gasping and panting and retching on a hillside near you soon!

Crack, Ping, Squeal

What a day!

How many small things should go wrong before you realise they are all warning signs and you should do nothing more dangerous than soaking in a hot tub with a glass of pinot noir and watch some non-intellectual telly before retiring to bed nice and early for a good nights sleep. I had about a dozen such warnings all day long. Logan had a few too. Did we pay appropriate attention? Nope, not a bit. Did we decide to do something obviously dangerous? Well, yes, but that's every time we climb on the bike, so no prizes there. Did the warnings come to fruition? Yup.

But, first things first. We headed out to Bottle Lake, riding into a headwind of course (another omen) but made good time. We headed up the right hand track towards the dreaded hill. Yes, 100m of vertical hell. Similar to last time, we rode up the hill 5 times in various gears, sitting, standing, spinning, grinding, panting and wondering why in the hell we were doing it. Unlike last time, there were no rests between laps. Up, down, up, down, go, go, go, pant, pant, pant!

Well, after 5 laps, we decided that the horrid part was over, lets go have some fun. We went down the road and onto the narrow bumpy single track that has a surprise ending. This bit of track is tricky, as it requires a lot of attention to be paid as you descend, and even more once you are down to take the corner and steep mound just after it. So, in full focus, and at top speed (a fraction under 50kph), I was sitting and about to change from a high (downhill) gear to a lower (climbing) gear so we could take the mound with enough speed to crest it and be in a gear low enough to make sure we would. I was spinning the pedals slowly. 10m before the hill the bike made a loud cracking noise. I initially thought it was a fully mature pine tree snapping, but Logan made a noise like somebody in distress and requested/demanded we to come to a halt, which we did. At this point Logan stepped gingerly off the bike and his seat fell to the ground. "OK" I thought, "so we broke another bit of the bike." But Logan was looking a little pale, and seemed to be in pain. He looked like a man who just used a seat post instead of a seat and went mountain biking. He looked like a man who had decided not to use his bum on a seat, but instead utilise the unlikely method of a testicle on a seatpost as we bounced and crashed over rocks and ruts and uneven surfaces. Yep, the bolt in the seat clamp stripped the thread from it's supporting nut (the crack noise I heard) causing the seat to do awful things to Logans undercarriage. The dropped bolts and clamps and other bits were scattered all over the track and undergrowth (ping!) and finally, Logan expressed his discomfort (squeal).

With cable ties in hand, the seat was reattached and we decided to head to North Beach and hit the road rather than attempt to finish the lap. Logan however could not sit, and when he tried to, snapped the cable ties and we lost the seat again. OK, Plan B fails, onto Plan C. I rang the wife and organised a collection from North Beach, we lowered the seat post all the way down, and Logan stood as we rode. It reminded me of our first outings - very little control. Even worse, at one point we had to stop, and Logan was clipped into his pedals. How do you dismount when you have no seat and are attached to the bike? Not with any grace, and when you are injured, it's even worse.

We did however make it to the park, and a short time later my wife arrived to collect us. Just in the nick of time. Logan was now in considerable pain and any movement he made was making me wince.

The trip home was, of course, spent thinking of witty phrases...

• Logan said he'd give his left nut to ride that track
• Frankenbike has a nutcracker seat
• The tandem has 2 x 26 inch wheels, and now so does Logan
• Be careful when you go to bed tonight, don't let the wife kick the throw-cushions off the bed!

So, the bike goes back into the shop on Thursday and Logan will probably be in hospital by the time this is posted. I think I'll end up doing some solo rides for a while, check out the downhill tracks at Victoria Park. The bike is an easy fix, the stoker may take a bit longer. Donations of ice packs would be gratefully received.

Burn-in

So, after the success of ride #1, we headed out for a more challenging jaunt around Bottle Lake. The ride there was swift and we hit the trail, aiming for the uphill chunk which we intended to climb a few times to test gearing, climbing with the cranks out of sync (Logan is ahead of me in the stroke) and burn the brakes in a bit more on the descents ('cause the don't work so hot at the mo). First crack up the hill was in 7th gear (granny ring) and knocked off without much problem. Down we go, this time we do it in 5th. OK, still good, back down, up again in 3rd, that's a bit small, down again, up again in 4th, good choice, down again (why!) and final climb in a mix of gears to play with changing under load, and it was sweet.



Can you believe that I rode up a (small) hill 5 times? I still don't believe it, and I was there!

We finished the lap with vastly increased speed as the bike handles so much better now. The final drag-strip through the dark was taken at full throttle, and we even flew over the final hump which has an awful sandpit collection on the other side. It did make me wonder how much speed we'd need to get airborne... Hmmm... We'll practice high speed tail-whips first and work on getting air later.



We cruised back home and made plans for the weekend - more hills! Yup, lets take on Summit Road again, tackle some more hills and burn those brakes in some more...

Sunday rolled around fast. Real fast. The weather was supposed to turn nasty at midday so we planned to be up there when it did, of course. With wife in tow, we parked up at the top of Vic Park and headed east along the road enjoying the sunshine and lack of wind, preparing ourselves for the first of the descents and hills on the new setup.



We'd done this road together once before, and I've done it solo a few times as well, so I know there are nothing but uphill’s in both directions. But the plan was to go from one end to the other and back again, climbing like strong men, descending like mad men, and arriving back at the car before the rain came pelting down and wind whipped up to gale force southerlies.

Good news is that we made it there and back in good time and with reasonable speed as well and apart from a strong southerly, the weather held too. We achieved a new top speed of 69.5kph coming down from Castle Rock which would have been faster if I hadn't been a wimp on the blind corner and tapped the brakes. Next time we're going over 70kph for sure!

While we pottered about on the tarseal, I was secretly wishing we were on the singletrack below (or often, above) us. We're taking the frankenbike to McLeans Island for a few laps, then we'll do some balance tests, and then we'll think about the Bowenvale Traverse track on the hill. I'm not worried about the track itself, even though it's like a long rut with tussock and rocks for decoration. I'm not even worried about the inclines and sharp bends and narrow width. It's the steep, dramatic, constant, irreversible descent that hangs inches from the side of the trail. Tandems are not renowned for their handling and ability to maintain straight lines offroad, and when it starts to go bad, it can go really bad in the blink of an eye (or more usually, the compression of a sphincter) and when riding the trail up there, real bad = massive injury as we plummet down the hillside. I can deal with falling off. I can live with hitting a tree. But sliding down the hillside on a tandem might be the last thing I ever do, and until we’re rock solid on our balance on narrow paths, we’ll stick to the non-deadly trails.

So, next trip out is Tuesday. More kilometres under the new fat wheels, and as much of it as possible in the safety of loose gravel, forests, rock gardens, wildlife and other distractions. Tail whips, air and Bowenvale are on the hit list before the Rainbow Rage, but not necessarily in the order.

Frankentandem

The bike came out of the shop today and we took it for it's first test spin.

I spent the first 30mins playing with the new toys, adjusting the levers, tweaking the shocks and admiring the new height in the bars. Wow, comfortable riding at long last! The new bar height (for me) puts the centre of gravity in a more comfortable and stable position, so handling should improve.

I was initially cautious about how the suspension would feel as we cornered on the road. Turned out, it handled sweet. The new Fox Talas 36 forks have adjustable rebound, so can still absorb the bumps without bouncing us around the corners.

So, into the saddle and we hit the road, the kerb, the grass, the hillocks, the bumps and lumps of the surrounding streets and were happy with the feel. We headed to our shortcut road to the river as its several k's of corrugated gravel road which on our last visit was rutted and knee deep in loose gravel. A perfect test.

Shox set to 100mm and full bounce and we were off. Crikey! We now roll over the rocks, ruts and gravel nice and smooth. As we headed down the road I tried out various rough surfaces and gravel pools, and the tandem went through them with ease. And it was so much easier to steer too.

At the riverbank, I cranked the puppies up to 160mm and we hit as many rough and deadly surfaces as we could on the way back. All of it was handled perfectly. Deep gravel slowed us down, but we no longer plowed through it, we roll over it. Corrugation that almost shook my helmet off my head was now just some minor bumps easily ridden over. The large mounds of gravel were crested simply, the rocks were bounced over, the ruts ridden out of, all of it was so much less stressful. I'm 10x more confident on this bike now, so look out!

As well as the new shox, we have hydraulic disk brakes. While they are not perfectly adjusted yet, they are leaps and bounds ahead of the old v-brakes! They will be a great asset on the downhill tracks and high speed descents we're planning on. Big disks means big stopping power, especially with these Saints, so I'm looking forward to practising some mad skidz in the near future.

Also, new gears and chain rings, so shifting gears is now reliable, quiet and quick. And I don't think we're gonna be able to bend these chainrings, they look like they can withstand the awesome power of the both of us with ease. They are a little 'grabby' still, but a few hundred k's under the wheels and they will relax a bit I'm sure.

Wheels, oh yea, big buggers on there now. Kevlar tyres, thornproof tubes, 20mm axles, 36hole DMR hubs & Mavic rims, these puppies are more like 4x4 wheels than bike wheels. Big, beefy, slow, but nothing is going to stop them.

Last major change is to the pedals. We're now out of sync. This feels the same on the flats, but I noticed it on the tiny hill we did. Weird man! We'll do more hills and see if it's a good idea for climbing. (good idea = easier for me!) Logan's stroke is 1/6th ahead of mine, so hopefully he'll have to work harder and I can concentrate on the steering.

Ride #1 is complete, ride #2 on Thursday. I'll get some photos of this build before we manage to coat the entire bike in mud, sand, pine needles, gravel, tar, grass, sheep poo, bugs and other wonders of the world out there in the trails. It's just over 7 weeks till 'the rage' so we have some practice to get in!

Rage upon the machine

Logan has registered us for the Rainbow Rage on March 21st. That's just over 2 months away, so we've been trying to put a few more k's under the wheels.

We did a quick lap of Bottle Lake earlier in the week, taking in the right side track up to the beach, then followed the Pegasus track to Spencer Park, then more single track back to the carpark. We did a majority of it in a single gear as we are again having issues with the rear derailleur which ain't worth fixing when it's going to be replaced in a week. Lap time was 50 minutes, and that was without trying too hard, taking it fairly easy except for the 40kph+ sprint down the final dark straight.

So tonight we did an old ride we have neglected for a while. I arrived at Logan's just before 6pm and we headed off to the secret shortcut (longcut?) along the riverbanks to McLeans Island. Wow. Someone must really hate cyclists as they have made a slightly uncomfortable ride a scary, hard, dangerous and difficult one. All it took was a few hundred thousand tons of gravel and the ability to place it where it will be easy to drive over yet nearly impossible to ride through. Many places on the road and stopbank have deep wheel ruts which are packed solid and easy to ride, except they are now full of loose gravel, making them ticking bombs ready to swallow your front wheel without warning. Many close calls, slow speeds and hard grinding (damn gears!) and we arrived at McLeans Island and got ready for a lap. We haven't done it for ages, so set off at a good pace, but not pushing hard. The track is still in good condition and we knocked it off in 31mins which is our best time yet. We must be getting better at this thing! We tackled the gravel death pits on the way back and made it home with just over 45km on the clock. Not bad for an evening ride.

Now, we have two plans afoot. We have to test the new gear out (especially the front suspension) once the bike is ready, starting at Bottle Lake, progressing to McLeans Island and then giving Kennedys and/or Rapaki a crack. The other task is the skid training on a grassy bank somewhere. Tail-whips on a tandem is going to be a chaotic mix of pain and hilarity. A potential location has been found, but we might need to do some vodka shots before we give it the first serious crack!

So, with a bit of luck, the bike goes in the shop tomorrow, and comes out all covered in bling about a week later. We'll be faster, stronger, leaner and meaner! Watch out if you see us coming because even tho we'll have nice new hydraulic brakes, we won't be stopping for anyone or anything!

Just a frame...

Many people have been asking me about what upgrades we plan on doing to the bike to address the breakages we've been experiencing.
 
Realistically the breakages are a combination of several factors, the principle ones being:
 
1. A tandem bike that was not initially kitted out for true off-road cycling.
and...
2. Components that were not designed to manage the load generated by two riders with a combined weight of nearly 200kgs.
 
With this in mind we've taken some time to consider what our intentions are... what others riding tandems say and then to add to that the advice of the guys at PushBikes Papanui... and we've come up with the following upgrades!
 
Forks: Fox Talas 36 
Brakes: Shimano Saint (Hydraulic) front and rear 
Hubs: DMR 36 hole 20mm through axel front, quick release rear 
Rims: Mavic 729 36 hole 
Tyres: Maxxis Kevlar 
Tube: Maxxis Thorn proof 
Shifters: Shimano XT 
Rear Derailleur: Shimano XT 
Front Derailleur: Shimano XT 
 
Additionally, there will be a new rear cassette, two new chains (one timing and one drive) and new cabling for the gearing.... 

Cranks for a Tandem are a bit of a tricky one at the moment but these will be upgraded as soon as we can get some tandem specific ones!! 

Maybe the shorter answer would have been "We're keeping the frame...the rest is being changed!!"

Feel free to give us your thoughts or comments on this stuff... we're always happy to hear from you.

Mad dogs & blind men

Some have noted that it's been quiet on the tandem lately. This is true... While we had plans of many rides during the holidays, Logan ended up with a dose of the black death, and I just sat at home and watched telly, ate & drank too much, and avoided sunshine as best I could. As a result, our first ride of the year yesterday was long overdue, but also a good reminder that Christmas pudding is easy to eat, but harder to burn off. And we won't mention the beer, wine & cocktails consumed over that time either!

In the heat of the afternoon we headed out to Bottle Lake for a quick couple of laps, taking in as much singletrack as possible. We're getting quite good at this now, and there's only 3 sections of the entire forest we have not as yet tackled on the tandem. On this occasion, we took on the new hill section, including the high-speed downhill bit. Man, I had almost forgotten how fast that tandem can go downhill! We bumped into another tandem in the forest too, another fully ridgid beast which had just tackled the bumpest section of the track that I avoid. A quick chat then back on track so I could get an icecream from the mobile cafe by the carpark before we did the second lap.

About a month ago, Logan secured a set of Avid BB5's and I slapped them on the front. As they are cable, not hydraulic (like mine), it took a while before my brain fully engaged and I got them set correctly. We tested on road, then on track, then on the Rapaki track, and yesterday we tested through a massive amount of puddles, and they kept on stopping us as and when required! It was quite odd, being that it was such a hot day, to be riding through so many puddles, and even weirder that they were so warm. The 2 hours of rain on the Sat that disrupted the cricket had all dried up off the track, except about 50 massive puddles. We managed to go through almost all of them.

On the broken bits & upgrades front, the bike is due in the shop sometime very soon and will emerge with a new wheelset, hydraulic disk brakes, new forks with suspension and other bits & bobs as well. I can't wait! It won't make riding up hills any easier, but will sure make going down them more fun, and faster too! Logan has been chatting to someone about a new paint job even - more news on that when it's all confirmed.

Next big event is the Rainbow Rage in March. Logan is stretching his hamstrings, I'm practising riding up hills (honest!) and we'll be fighting fit and ready for it when the day arrives. It's funny, but the more I think about it, the less concerned I am about the 106km we need to ride, and the more concerned I get about the last 100m with the downhill s-bend and narrow offset bridge just before the finish line. I'm sure it was pure luck that got us across it last time, but this time?

And skills training. This is where it gets funny and possibly painful. Logan wants to try some of the more technical downhill tracks, you know, the ones with the switchbacks. So we're going to find a nice gently sloping grassy knoll to practice some tail-whip 180° turns. On a tandem, this involves cutting the front wheel into the corner first, locking the rear wheel so the stoker skids around, then timing the release of the brakes and peddling just right so they don't fly off down the hill or end up lodged in the bank somewhere. I think we'll need a video of this training, it should be hilarious!