The Pros and Cons of Static Bikes

As you all know both Chris and I have been using static bikes to supplement our on bike training - some fricken genius told us they'd be good for us!!

So, these basic trainers (or more precisely put... these medieval torture machines) sit unassumingly in our garages... looking, to the unwitting victim, like mere bits of steel and plastic. It isn't until something (lets say... a training program) reveals the lethal potential of these cunningly disguised predators that one fully realises the degree of your own insanity for even considering using one!

Screaming, aching, groaning and panting - these things all describe my reaction to Chris's glorious sprint training program... but how would I describe the pain, the muscular ache, the rectal throb not to mention the buckets of sweat which I experience whilst IMPROVING myself on the static trainer.... umm..... Sheer Hell(that's the full fat, give me more sugar kind of Hell, none of this low fat, Ponsonby kind of hell!)

Sure, the benefits of this time spent training will result in less physical pain during the upcoming Rainbow Rage... but I've decided that there is no way the design for these things came out of a sane persons mind!!

These things are more dangerous than being an Indian shopkeeper in South Auckland, more painful than haemorrhoids the size of cannon balls, Less appealing than vomit flavoured ice-cream and more frightening than an internal prostate check done by a proctologist with no fingers!

Here's just two of the programs Chris and I are using to build our fitness and strength -now anyone can totally disregard my warnings and give a static trainer a go:

#1 .Time taken - 49 minutes
15 minutes - warm up (increasing intensity)
5 x (40 sec. very high intensity - 20 sec. low intensity)
3 minutes recovery
5 x (40 sec. very high intensity - 20 sec. low intensity)
3 minutes recovery
5 x (40 sec. very high intensity - 20 sec. low intensity)
3 minutes recovery
5 x (40 sec. very high intensity - 20 sec. low intensity)
5 minutes cool down

This program is designed to increase your maximum oxygen consumption (That is... it is designed to make you gasp for air!)

#2. Time taken -60 minutes
10min warm-up
3min (semi-high intensity)
2min low intensity
8 x (3min high intensity + 2min low intensity)
5min cool down

This program really shatters me -it gives you a big chunk of time at high oxygen consumption... let me assure you the breaks will seem far too short!!

So, there ya go... static bikes - training partners or satans work?