How many small things should go wrong before you realise they are all warning signs and you should do nothing more dangerous than soaking in a hot tub with a glass of pinot noir and watch some non-intellectual telly before retiring to bed nice and early for a good nights sleep. I had about a dozen such warnings all day long. Logan had a few too. Did we pay appropriate attention? Nope, not a bit. Did we decide to do something obviously dangerous? Well, yes, but that's every time we climb on the bike, so no prizes there. Did the warnings come to fruition? Yup.
But, first things first. We headed out to Bottle Lake, riding into a headwind of course (another omen) but made good time. We headed up the right hand track towards the dreaded hill. Yes, 100m of vertical hell. Similar to last time, we rode up the hill 5 times in various gears, sitting, standing, spinning, grinding, panting and wondering why in the hell we were doing it. Unlike last time, there were no rests between laps. Up, down, up, down, go, go, go, pant, pant, pant!
Well, after 5 laps, we decided that the horrid part was over, lets go have some fun. We went down the road and onto the narrow bumpy single track that has a surprise ending. This bit of track is tricky, as it requires a lot of attention to be paid as you descend, and even more once you are down to take the corner and steep mound just after it. So, in full focus, and at top speed (a fraction under 50kph), I was sitting and about to change from a high (downhill) gear to a lower (climbing) gear so we could take the mound with enough speed to crest it and be in a gear low enough to make sure we would. I was spinning the pedals slowly. 10m before the hill the bike made a loud cracking noise. I initially thought it was a fully mature pine tree snapping, but Logan made a noise like somebody in distress and requested/demanded we to come to a halt, which we did. At this point Logan stepped gingerly off the bike and his seat fell to the ground. "OK" I thought, "so we broke another bit of the bike." But Logan was looking a little pale, and seemed to be in pain. He looked like a man who just used a seat post instead of a seat and went mountain biking. He looked like a man who had decided not to use his bum on a seat, but instead utilise the unlikely method of a testicle on a seatpost as we bounced and crashed over rocks and ruts and uneven surfaces. Yep, the bolt in the seat clamp stripped the thread from it's supporting nut (the crack noise I heard) causing the seat to do awful things to Logans undercarriage. The dropped bolts and clamps and other bits were scattered all over the track and undergrowth (ping!) and finally, Logan expressed his discomfort (squeal).
With cable ties in hand, the seat was reattached and we decided to head to North Beach and hit the road rather than attempt to finish the lap. Logan however could not sit, and when he tried to, snapped the cable ties and we lost the seat again. OK, Plan B fails, onto Plan C. I rang the wife and organised a collection from North Beach, we lowered the seat post all the way down, and Logan stood as we rode. It reminded me of our first outings - very little control. Even worse, at one point we had to stop, and Logan was clipped into his pedals. How do you dismount when you have no seat and are attached to the bike? Not with any grace, and when you are injured, it's even worse.
We did however make it to the park, and a short time later my wife arrived to collect us. Just in the nick of time. Logan was now in considerable pain and any movement he made was making me wince.
The trip home was, of course, spent thinking of witty phrases...
- Logan said he'd give his left nut to ride that track
- Frankenbike has a nutcracker seat
- The tandem has 2 x 26 inch wheels, and now so does Logan
- Be careful when you go to bed tonight, don't let the wife kick the throw-cushions off the bed!
So, the bike goes back into the shop on Thursday and Logan will probably be in hospital by the time this is posted. I think I'll end up doing some solo rides for a while, check out the downhill tracks at Victoria Park. The bike is an easy fix, the stoker may take a bit longer. Donations of ice packs would be gratefully received.
3 comments:
OMG!!! That sounded horrific. Hope Logan is ok.
A week later, he is mostly OK. We're yet to go for another ride together, but he's been on the static bike a couple of times and claims he'll be fine on the tandem on the hills. Hmmm... a couple of on-road rides before I test that theory out I think.
Perhaps you should take up a safer hobby... like ice hockey or something... or invest in some good luck charms (would keep away from nuts though).
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